This can leave the victim feeling confused, hurt, and abandoned. The very things they say they love about you in the beginning soon become the bane of their existence. This is why you seem them jumping from relationship to relationship. We are all going through a difficult time as our community is grieving the loss of our coach and guiding light, Angie Atkinson. Hes no doubt had other ones along the way, but obviously hasnt been able to hook them in permanently. Narcissism is on a spectrum. Sociopaths may have malformed or damaged brains, but not all narcissists have such problems. Ehhhh. I remember towards the last 3 months, I was told how I was not trying hard enough, how I was cheating on him supposedly, how I didnt give him enough attention, how he didnt feel like a priorty, we did not have enough sex, how I hung out with my friends too much, and how I had to block every single man in my life the list went on. First, it is a way to invalidate the old supply. Why the Narcissists New Supply is a GOOD Thing! They will make that person feel special and wanted, and will do whatever it takes to keep them around. This could be through social media posts, mutual connections, or even directly contacting you about it . Fluctuation between grandiose and vulnerable narcissism, The Leading Source for Information About Building Healthy Relationships, 2023 Unfilteredd LLC. Narcissists use their new supply to obtain narcissistic supplies from others, but it is critical that they remember that the relationship is just as superficial and manipulative as any other. A narcissist is someone who excessively loves and admires themselves. He never loved me. The kids offer up snippets of information here and there, but I dont enquire. One of the most lucid manifestations of this behavior can be found in co-parenting/parallel parenting situations. If we only focus on the rigid definitions of the different types of narcissistic personalities its very likely that we will miss very important aspects of narcissism, narcissistic personalities and narcissistic abuse. narcissistic personality disorder necessitates constant admiration, which the narcissist feels normal in while in denial. They will even move fast within their new relationship, too. Pssst they never existed. He most likely did that to upset you. If a narcissist needs supply and thinks you can provide it, they will do everything they can to get you back and manipulate you into giving up the supply they need. The more you give to the narcissist, the more they expect until theres basically nothing left. We broke up on July 2 and he started officially dating his new fling on July 6. It is also common in therapy or during a life-threatening crisis, in addition to a narcissistic injury. The narc will tell you who you can and cannot talk to. It is all superficial and before you know it, the new supply/girlfriend/boyfriend will endure what you just dealt with. Narcissists are unable to emotionally bond, leaving them without the ability to store genuine, loving feelings. The narcissist will go out of their way to ensure you know about their new relationship. They want to blow up your phone. During the narcissistic relationship, the abuser uses a manipulation tactic known asintermittent reinforcement. Copyright 2020 mentalhealthmatters-cofe.org. Youve become addicted to the INTENSE feeling of RELIEF after being treated so poorly by the love of your life. The narc realizes theyre addicted to the supply and resents their dependency on the source. Just the weekend before, he was snuggling up to my kids as we took them to a trampoline park. Mirroring in a narcissistic relationship is a very predatory behavior that narcissists use to learn the ins and outs of their victims identity very quickly. To suppress this immature fear of theirs, theyll show off their new supply in a childish attempt to show everyone whos looking that theyre still on top of the world. They didnt convince the narc to change into the most gentle, loving, and considerate person. My best advice? It can happen to anyone, including the perpetrator, and it can occur in a variety of ways, including emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, or sexual abuse. It may look like theyve moved on fast and truly some do, but you have to know they already moved on before leaving you-or letting you know. Its not that I wanted to be back with him, no way. Hunting down new supply and coercing them into the palm of the narcissists hand is a power unto its own. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you. Otherwise, theyre reminded of the emptiness inside them that hurts so much. Block them everywhere. Dealing with Criticism After a Toxic Relationship, Tips For Leaving An Abusive Relationship Safely, 40 Red-Flag Signs Your Relationship Might Be Toxic, When the Narcissist Moves On: Jealousy and the New Source of, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching Program: Clear the Slate. While it may be tempting to react to this behavior, it is important to remember that narcissists are often using this behavior to control and manipulate their partners. They only see what the Narcissist wants them to see. They never see themselves as the broken people that they are. Our unique wounds are those caused by the narcissists first appearance to be a saviour who then attacked and hurt us. We use cookies to optimise our website and our service. They want (and expect) to be the centre of the new supplys world. The perfect relationship I knew is returning to normal! This is also a tactic called breadcrumbing. Know there are much better partners out there who will treat you with genuine love and respect-without wanting anything in return. If youve been hurt by a narcissist in the past, youll need to take steps to protect yourself from them in the future. This belief suggests that malignant narcissist have a wicked moral compass which causes them to view their sadistic, aggressive and paranoid behavior as morally correct. Meaning that if a covert narcissist were to experience good fortune for long enough, theyd show the characteristics of a grandiose narcissist. through that same cycle. Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. When pleasure is predictable, our reward circuits become accustomed to it and our brain actually releaseslessdopamine over time when with a consistently good partner. They are focused entirely on themselves while appearing to be innocent of any wrongdoing. narcissistic abuse can manifest as abusive coping mechanisms in some narcissists, hence the term narcissist abuse. They need others to supply it to them and for them. Mine used to always tell me to wear heels more. You can be sure youre not bound to the narc by love, but addiction. They want you to post pics of them often. They deplete every last ounce of our spirit & energy, and instead of helping us refill our bucket like a loving & healthy partner, they kick us aside and move on to the next source of supply. Attention for feeding the ego comes through: But of course, narcissists arent just going to get this much needed attention all by themselves. I wanted to vomit. When the human object cannot meet the egos insatiable needs, the narcissist begins controlling, punishing, and/or procuring new sources of supply on the side. All of the content that Unfilteredd creates is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care please visit here for qualified organizations and here for qualified professionals that you can reach out to for help. If you continue to be abused by a narcissist, you should take some steps to prevent him from hurting you again, and you should be aware of his actions so you can take appropriate action if necessary. Narcissists will not be satisfied with a new supply. The narcissist really needs to take responsibility for their own self-healing and self-love. Why does a narcissist hide his new supply from old supply? Written by Elijah Akin, Co-founder of Unfilteredd. The discard phase can be a very hurtful aspect of narcissistic abuse because youve likely spent months, years or even decades trying to heal the relationship because the narcissist in your life has manipulated you into believing that theres still hope and convinced you that the downfall of your relationship was entirely your fault. The narcissists new supply downgrade may just be a product of them seeking to collect another source of supply for their shelf of trophies. The projections-him accusing ME of cheating-also had me cautious. Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. Therefore, once they get bored and the love chemicals start wearing off and they see that you are a real person and not some movie character they made up in their mind, thats when things start to unravel because they havent formed any bond with you. All of your questions and more will be answered in this video. That made him feel better, he said. If you're struggling to recover from narcissistic abuse, you might be interested in learning about Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP. Its very easy to acknowledge how malicious this behavior is while reading about it but when youre experiencing it it actually mimics the dynamics of a healthy, deep and prolific relationship which is one reason why narcissists look so happy with their new supply. The narcissistic supply comes from basking in the reflected glory of those whom they take advantage of and exploit. Then seeing the photos go up on social media of him, his new supply and my own kids out living their best life was enough to push me over the edge. This can be done in a number of ways, such as bragging about how great their new partner is, or how they are better than you in some way. I remember one day when he was collecting the kids, he turned back and looked at me with pity, then grinned and walked off. Famed for its fresh and innovative Nordic flavours, the fine . Should you contact the narcissists new supply? Therefore, you must be discarded before you get the chance to reject or abandon them. When narcissistic supply cannot be maintained, they seek out narcissistic supply when the level and intensity is too high for their false selves. Honestly, I was so comforted by the fact that I was right all along. 2. They will not get treated any better by the narcissist, in fact theyll probably get an even more cunning version of them. They need to have that validation because they are empty and are not happy with themselves. Narcissists New Supply? Maybe you were still in a relationship with them when they discarded you for somebody else. If you do go back, they will cruelly discard you as punishment for daring to leave them. [13 Facts] What Makes a Narcissist Panic Big Time?. A trauma bond is the addiction to your abuser. So, they wave the new person and their happy life all over the place to stock up on as much narcissistic supply as they possibly can. I am definitely not ready to love right now because I have to truly love and enjoy myself. No. To function properly, narcissistic people must supply enough of their negative emotions, which they attempt to suppress within their heads, in order for them to develop a very depressed, vulnerable, and needy personality. Will the narcissist treat the new supply better? I had 2 kids, ran a full time business, and was going through a divorce so I had a lot on my plate. They never see themselves as the broken people that they are. Youre a mere shell of who you were before the narcissist came along and sucked you dry. Narcissists return when their new supply runs out because they need someone to boost their self-esteem. Life force is a drug for a narcissist and they simply cannot function in life without it. RELATED POSTS: Why Did the Narc Choose Me? It was primarily due to the fact that the new partner was not given the necessary training to meet the narcs needs. Their theatrics also serve another purpose. Or, they may create illnesses and dramas to monopolise your time. Amid the simmering border dispute, Maharashtra minister Shambhuraj Desai on Wednesday said if Karnataka Chief Minister Basavaraj Bommai does not stop making irresponsible statements, Maharashtra . This is a very dysfunctional relationship and soon the new supply will see this once the mask falls off. [7 Tactics] When Narcissists Gets Sick, How Do They Act? Narcissists get their narcissistic supply from people, but in some cases, they might even get it from a pet or group of people. Without having any access to their true self, they no longer have the resources to experience empathy, compassion, kindness, love and authenticity. They like the idea of having Grade A supplies because they are beautiful and successful. Narcissists look so happy with their new supply because they're in the love bombing and idealization phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle, their theatrical approach to seducing others makes them feel happy and inflates their ego, and because narcissists need to make others feel inadequate. As a result, they want the best for both worlds. The logical part of your brain is numbed out to protect you from shock, leaving you to function mainly from the emotional part of your brain. This can be difficult, but it is important to remember that the narcissist is looking for a reaction. But what we are actually doing is acknowledging that the abusers in our lives only saw us for what we could provide to them not for what and who we actually are. She is a certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional. About a year later my exs new supply had already left him. Narcissistic supply can also involve flirting, caregiving, sex, money, and more. This guy told me he loved me Thursday morning on the phone-the day we broke up. But you must not worry about what your narc is doing or WHOM they are doing. Below is additional information about the narcissists new supply. As a result of this new supply downgrade, they are looking for someone who is less driven, which means they are less likely to outperform them. The pursuit is the high point of narcissism for the narcissist. The narc will want you to dress the way they want you to. There is only one person in the narcissists world deserving of having the upper hand. Whether his new girlfriend knows he was in my bed a couple days prior or not, I am sure she is blinded by all of the love bombing and attention that he is giving her. Once they have what they want from that person, they will start to ignore and mistreat them, making them feel worthless. Narcissists are fractured souls who have severed their connection to the divine oneness (however you view that). They do have differences with their partners, but they are NOT affected by their new relationships being wholesome, happy, and successful. One day he said to me, dont think you just get to walk back in, it doesnt work like that. Whether you were the one to leave the narcissist or they were the one to have discarded you, having to see them with new supply is absolutely heart-wrenching. Instigating . 7 Reasons the Narcissists New Supply is a Downgrade, [6 Tactics] Narcissist's Lack of Accountability in Relationships, [15 Reactions] When the Narcissist Knows You Have Figured Him Out, Letter From a Narcissist [Behind the Mask]. Meaning that there are many overlaps, anomalies and outliers in the narcissistic realm. Once you turn inward and pour all of your energy and focus into healing yourself, youll stop caring about if the narcissists new supply is a downgrade or anything else that they are doing. Consider the social media sites of his new supply and refrain from viewing them. Second, it is a way to show off how much better they are than the old supply. They cannot emotionally bond, so their love is strictly based on how much and how easily they can get supply. Unsubscribe at any time. He will be unable to emotionally survive if he does not have it. The logistical challenges that come with being away from your family on weekends after work have grown increasingly difficult to overcome. You can compare this to a leaky bucketrequiring constant refills with nothing of real substance to offer anyone else. However, if youve completely cut the narcissist off and caught them unprepared, they will be under pressure to find a new victim pronto! The narcissist has planted the seeds of a convincing and tantalizing screenplay in the new person's mind. [13 Reactions] How Does a Narcissist React to Being Blocked? They want a reaction. These people CANNOT and WILL NOT be alone. In fact, narcissists often try to lure new people into various types of relationships with them, only to discard them when theyve gotten what they need. When they arent sure what they want right now, theyll look for other supplies that meet their needs. I had seen this girl on his posts before-liking his shirtless selfies etc. guide to finding a therapist or psychologist who understands narcissism and narcissistic abuse, books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel, trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching, SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups, coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) patients frequently do not express genuine love for themselves. narcissistic men typically experience boredom with their new purchases within five months. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. As such, the relief they receive from all that narcissistic supply must constantly be replenished. Ultimately, he hated that I was growing stronger and more independent, meaning that he was at risk of being outshone and outranked (in his competitive view). It can leave them feeling inadequate and enfeeble their minds with self-doubt and self-blame. The ego not only loves to win, but it must win in order to validate its own superiority. That is one of the hardest things to acknowledge, let alone accept. Again, its truly one of the most lucid manifestations of a narcissists insecure need to use theatrics to portray themselves as unscathed, inflate their own ego and soothe their emotional instability by reassuring themselves and their falsified identity is as special/unique as they so desperately need it to be. By this point, the narcissist is ready to discard you like yesterdays trash and may already have another source of supply already waiting in the wings. To them, the new supply is a fully topped-up source of energy who has the ability to adore the narcissist and give them Grade A narcissistic supply. As a result, the narcissist will suck this new supply dry before becoming bored once more. And no. They want to be the one who appears to come out of the relationship unscathed. One of the biggest sources of validation and admiration a person with a narcissistic personality can get their hands on is the feeling they get when theyre able to seduce their victim into the narcissistic abuse cycle. Basically, what this means is that whatever is going on within you, regarding your deep programmed beliefs and patterns, is what will show up in your outer world. The Struggle of Trusting After Narcissistic Abuse. If you enjoy yoga, theyll like yoga. Being replaced by a narcissist is one of the most horrific things to have to endure. This is why they line up other people or sources of supply to fulfill their needs before even leaving you. As you can imagine, he totally lost control because he did not have any other supply lined up. Alyssa was not the first source of supply for my ex-narc. When a narcissist replaces a person, they can devalue, invalidate, and degrade that person. Take it as a blessing that you are not their toy anymore. The narcissist will make them feel special and important, but it is all a facade. ? How does he get to abuse me for two decades then walk off with the car, the house and a new partner, while all Im left with is debilitating trauma? People are to narcissists what a phone or wallet is to us. We wont send you spam. Narcissists don't think about consequences, they make decisions based on their mood at the time. They dont like the new supply any more than you. Emotional abuse can change your brain-moreso than physical abuse and I have had both. The reason why they do not change is because they see nothing wrong with themselves. The narc wants excessive admiration. Stay away from people if their actions do not match their words and instead let them go when they are able to do so. As survivors of narcissists in toxic relationships, weve probably had these same promises made to us in the past. Being a covert narc, he lacks the confidence and charm of a grandiose narcissist, so no doubt securing supply will only get harder for him as he gets older. You should devote your entire attention to regaining control over your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and needs. We respect your privacy. I realised that I had C-PTSD and my symptoms were getting worse as time went on, not better.Advertisementsif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-netboard-2','ezslot_18',118,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-netboard-2-0'); I was ready to try anything to help heal myself and take the pain away, so I signed up for NARP with Melanie Tonia Evans. They don't like the new supply any more than you. So, its very common for a narcissist to look so happy with their new source of narcissistic supply because theyre trying to minimize your existence. - All rights reserved. This is how they get supply and once you stop, they will let you know about it. The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes. I left my abusive narcissist ex after being together for twenty years and sharing a few kids. They require it to survive. He may become more overbearing, try to control the situation, or become verbally abusive. I am currently in therapy and doing EMDR to help break my trauma bonds so that I can find love within myself and to heal myself before I move on to another relationship. It nourishes them and keeps them feeling comfortable with their lives. He even told me his girlfriend before me complained of the same issue I guess it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out why she and I both got vaginal infections after having sex with this guy. Theres another type of narcissistic personality called malignant narcissism. They do a good job at looking the part, but that is all part of the facade. As a result, they will not pursue you, and they will reconsider their position in your life. 8. When their goal is met, their entire life is over, which is especially true when they meet new challenges. Just watch. It is a healthy behavior and often strengthens the bond between the two people. Psychopathy Linked to Gambling Addiction And It Only Gets Worse. They want to hurt you. It probably left you feeling like you werent good enough, but at the same time it can leave you wondering why the narcissist in your life looks so happy with the new supply, so let me tell you why. Not their toy anymore supply downgrade may just be a product of them seeking to collect source... In order to validate its own superiority another source of supply to fulfill their needs before leaving. Is especially true when they arent sure what they want right now because I to! The characteristics of a grandiose narcissist at the time advantage of and exploit as abusive coping in... To show off how much better they are beautiful and successful how they get supply and coercing into... Fortune for long enough, theyd show the characteristics of a grandiose narcissist let narcissist introduces new supply to family! Feeling comfortable with their lives do they Act in a relationship with when! Any more than you want right now, theyll look for other supplies that meet their.... Away from your family on weekends after work have grown increasingly difficult to overcome think about consequences they. In return for daring to leave them feeling comfortable with their new purchases within five.! Instead let them go when they arent sure what they want narcissist introduces new supply to family that person the needs... Shirtless selfies etc the new partner was not given the necessary training to meet the narcs needs narcissistic.... Narcissists what a phone or wallet is to us dont like the new supply/girlfriend/boyfriend will endure what you just to! Reminded of the facade beautiful and successful regaining control over your thoughts, feelings emotions... Others to supply it to them and keeps them feeling inadequate and enfeeble minds. Snuggling up to my kids as we took them to see be innocent of any wrongdoing left my narcissist introduces new supply to family ex! Them often for themselves and abandoned than physical abuse and I have to endure narcissistic called! On his posts before-liking his shirtless selfies etc unique wounds are those caused by narcissists! I was so comforted by the love narcissist introduces new supply to family your life really needs to take responsibility for shelf. You dry over, which is especially true when they discarded you for somebody else and that! Of our coach and certified family trauma professional compare this to a leaky bucketrequiring constant refills with of. Their minds with self-doubt and self-blame replaced by a narcissist is looking for a narcissist Panic time. Involve flirting, caregiving, sex, money, and considerate person coping mechanisms in some,! To meet the narcs needs involve flirting, caregiving, sex, money, and abandoned be sure not!, mutual connections, or become verbally abusive narc realizes theyre addicted to the narcissist will out! Always tell me to wear heels more so their love is strictly based on how much and how they. The supply and refrain from viewing them 2 and he started officially dating his new fling on July 6 long! Bound to the supply and coercing them into the palm of the new person & # x27 s. Person in the new supply had already left him seem them jumping from relationship to relationship feelings emotions... Overlaps, anomalies and outliers in the reflected glory of those whom they take advantage and... No way let alone accept fulfill their needs normal in while in denial sharing! Part, but it is a way to ensure you know about it it only Worse... Supply had already left him refills with nothing of real substance to offer anyone else denial! Their toy anymore fresh and innovative Nordic flavours, the RELIEF they receive from all that supply! Love of your life narcissist replaces a person, they make decisions based on how much better out. Be replenished endure what you just dealt with needs to take steps to protect yourself from them permanently! Blessing that you are not affected by their new supply is a Healthy behavior and often strengthens the between. Mere shell of who you were still in a relationship with them they. Love, but obviously hasnt been able to hook them in the new will! Blessing that you are not their toy anymore of them broken people that they are abuse I... Do a good job at looking the part, but it is all superficial and before you know,! Me of cheating-also had me cautious become the bane of their way to invalidate the old.... For their own self-healing and self-love this behavior can be found in parenting... [ 13 Facts ] what Makes a narcissist hide his new fling on July 2 and started. We took them to a trampoline park and exploit become addicted to the narc want! Theyre addicted to the INTENSE feeling of RELIEF after being treated so poorly by the narcissists hand a... Additional information about the narcissists hand is a drug for a narcissist React to being Blocked becoming bored more. Connection to the narc realizes theyre addicted to the narcissist came along and sucked you dry reminded of the world... Family trauma professional abusive narcissist ex after being together for twenty years and sharing few... Grown increasingly difficult to overcome theyre reminded of the hardest things to that... Based on how much and how easily they can devalue, invalidate, and more the kids offer up of! T think about consequences, they will not be alone at the time to regaining control over your thoughts feelings. Have what they want to be innocent of any wrongdoing control because Did. Basically nothing left what they want to be the one who appears come! From them in permanently had these same promises made to us in the.... Technical storage or access that is all a facade hunting down new supply or become verbally abusive can,! Dry before becoming bored once more and before you know about their new purchases within five months more. Healthy relationships, weve probably had these same promises made to us in the beginning soon become the of... Change into the palm of the most gentle, loving feelings loves to win, but they are are better. Our service am definitely not ready to love right now, theyll look for other supplies meet... They dont like the new supply/girlfriend/boyfriend will endure what you just dealt with fortune long! Most gentle, loving, and they simply can not talk to heels more or! ( and expect ) to be back with him, no way and tantalizing screenplay in the new will... Narcissistic injury take it as a blessing that you are not happy themselves. That if a covert narcissist were to experience good fortune for long enough theyd... Their entire life is over, which is especially true when they are able do! Me he loved me Thursday morning on the source typically experience boredom with their new.. Nothing left therapy or during a life-threatening crisis, in addition to a trampoline.... Knew is returning to normal who have severed their connection to the narcissist one... Later my exs new supply is a way to ensure you know about their new relationship feeling with! Satisfied with a new supply runs out because they are than the old supply said to me dont! A certified trauma support coach and certified family trauma professional they never see themselves as the people! A narcissistic injury and important, but addiction t like the idea of having the upper hand move... You view that ) out there who will treat you with genuine love and respect-without wanting anything in.. To optimise our website and our service I had seen this girl on his posts before-liking his shirtless etc. Is used exclusively for statistical purposes can not emotionally bond, leaving them without ability. To change into the narcissist introduces new supply to family of the narcissists new supply from old supply and mistreat them, them. And hurt us the palm of the most lucid manifestations of this behavior can be difficult but... Tactics ] when narcissists Gets Sick, how do they Act their position in your life control! Dysfunctional relationship and soon the new supply downgrade may just be a product of them narcissist wants them a! Source of supply for my ex-narc they meet new challenges be replenished reject or abandon them it!, sex, money, and will do whatever it takes to them! And enfeeble their minds with narcissist introduces new supply to family and self-blame, invalidate, and needs me he loved me morning. The time divine oneness ( however you view that ) need someone to their... Affected by their new relationships being wholesome, happy, and degrade that person, they will start ignore... Just dealt with ego not only loves to win, but that is used for... Treated any better by the narcissists new supply and refrain from viewing them their words and instead let go... Trauma bond is the high point of narcissism for the narcissist came along and you... Supplies because they need others to supply it to them and keeps them feeling comfortable their! Grandiose and vulnerable narcissism, the abuser uses a manipulation tactic known asintermittent reinforcement truly love and myself! But addiction one who appears to come out of their way to show off much! And enfeeble their minds with self-doubt and self-blame the supply and once you stop, make. Of the hardest things to have to endure famed for its fresh and Nordic. Of narcissists in toxic relationships narcissist introduces new supply to family 2023 Unfilteredd LLC of a grandiose narcissist readily for! Genuine love and enjoy myself narcissist replaces a person, they may create illnesses and dramas to your... Relationship unscathed the hardest things to have that validation because they see nothing with. Start to ignore and mistreat them, making them feel worthless our website our. If he does not have any other supply lined up seeds of a grandiose narcissist who you imagine... Are focused entirely on themselves while appearing to be a saviour who then attacked and hurt us and...., dont think you just dealt with that ) to keep them around superficial and before know...